6/9/2007
So today's topic isn't exactly home related, but this is my page and I get to choose what goes here. On Saturday my brother is getting married and I'm the best man. I'm not being cocky, that's just my role in this whole thing. The role of best man is fairly simple (which is why it was entrusted to me) and consists of the following. Plan and execute a bachelor party, show up at the church on time and in whatever monkey suit requested by the groom, tell him he's doing the right thing over and over, and finally the toast.
To be honest I haven't worked much on the speech aspect of my duties up to this point. But I do have a theme and I figured that by writing it all out here I'll have a decent outline of what to say on Saturday. So here goes.
I have obviously known Ryan for all of his life and Amy for virtually none of hers. From the very start Ryan has proved to be a rotten little brother and from what little time I've spent with Amy she is a very sweet and patient woman. I know some of you are shocked that I would out my brother this way, and the rest of you actually know Ryan and are nodding in agreement. When you're the oldest brother it is part of your job to teach and train your younger siblings in the true ways of the world. Teachers and parents all have ulterior motives in their teachings, making you a good citizen etc. And not all siblings are willing students which can make the older brother's job difficult indeed.The reason that Ryan was such a rotten little brother is that he was already good at all of the things that the older brother was supposed to be teaching. He was better at sports, better at math, smarter, etc. The only tool I had left in my arsenal was to beat him up. And then he ended up bigger than me too and even that failed to work.
But all of these frustrating things that make him a lousy little brother and make my job as older brother all the more difficult are the very same things that make him a great friend, a good son, a loving boyfriend and now a devoted husband.
Please raise your glasses and join me in wishing Amy and Ryan the best luck and success in their lives together. May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
So raise your glass and wish me luck in toasting Ryan & Amy at their wedding on Saturday.